1
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,481
Looks like it's curtains
for me, kiddies.
2
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:34,060
Then again, maybe the
Venetian blinds would look better.
3
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,627
I don't know.
4
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:43,137
When I started this little
makeover I was pretty excited.
5
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:48,039
I thought a little Slaytex
Paint, some new scream doors,
6
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,976
maybe even some
scare conditioning,
7
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:56,506
I could turn my little doomicile
into a regular pied-à-terror.
8
00:01:56,583 --> 00:02:02,215
But, I tell you, kiddies, between
the dust and the ghost overruns,
9
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,555
your pal, the Crypt Keeper
is going out of his mind!
10
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:09,793
Which is kind of like the
woman in tonight's terror tale.
11
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:12,394
It's about a comic book artist
12
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:17,336
who's about to experience
a terrible case of déjà boo.
13
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,373
I call it "Whirlpool."
14
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:34,312
Hey, Velma, you getting
in the tub with me or not?
15
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:37,715
Sure thing, doll.
I'll be right there.
16
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,217
Well, I hope you like it hot.
17
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,019
Velma?
18
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:48,360
Velma?
19
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,596
Where did you...
20
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,534
Kill him! That's right. Get him.
21
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:58,934
Kill the slimy rat!
22
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,670
Do it! Squeeze the life
out of him. Come on!
23
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:05,008
Die, you son of a bitch!
24
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,784
Put some clothes on!
25
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,059
You had him in
the kip, didn't you?
26
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:25,998
You told me to do whatever
it took. And that's what it took.
27
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:30,128
Actually, I feel kind
of bad about Jerry.
28
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,664
He was pretty good.
29
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,270
What the hell.
30
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,603
I'll always have my memories.
31
00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:51,489
I'm glad you feel that way,
Velma. I'm all choked up.
32
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,220
I didn't mean it.
33
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:06,596
Now, wait a minute.
34
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:08,451
Maybe I'm stupid or
something, but I don't get it.
35
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,603
No, it's simple. This
guy is really dead.
36
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,010
- What, he's dead?
- No, he's dead.
37
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,411
Oh, you mean he's dead.
38
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:15,813
He's dead.
39
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,612
What, are you kidding me?
40
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,683
- What's the matter, you don't like it?
- What's to like?
41
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,780
What kind of ending is that?
42
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,586
- It's a twist.
- It's a piece of shit.
43
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,525
Even the artwork sucks.
44
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:31,031
There is no edge
to it. It's predictable.
45
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:32,224
What are you talking about?
46
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,928
You don't expect the
guy in the tub to be alive.
47
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:38,665
He's alive? Jeez, I thought
he was a ghoul or something.
48
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:39,831
He's not?
49
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,799
Okay, he's a
ghoul. I'll change it.
50
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,904
For Christ's sake, I gotta get this
issue to the printer's in two hours.
51
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,506
Except now I'm a
story short. Thank you!
52
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,484
Iggy, you got
anything in your files?
53
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:55,318
I got that he's-a-werewolf-she's-a-vampire-
but-neither-of-them-knows-it story.
54
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:56,549
Hal, save me!
55
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,234
You know that
guy-who-wants-to-head-the-company-
56
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,069
so-they-cut-off-his-head
thing I been working on?
57
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,093
Oh, Christ.
58
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,471
I can have it on your
desk in a half hour.
59
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,088
Do it. Just do it.
60
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,832
It's not that bad, is it?
61
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:18,168
Rolanda, I want you
in my office right now.
62
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,942
Trust me. It's worse.
63
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:28,747
How dare you walk in here and
try to pass off that garbage to me?
64
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,451
I wouldn't line a
birdcage with that story.
65
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,459
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry don't cut it.
66
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,018
I need stories. I need them
on time and I need them great.
67
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:39,032
And I can't remember the
last time you delivered either.
68
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,431
For crying out loud, Rolanda,
69
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,144
you used to be the
thoroughbred in this stable.
70
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,693
What happened to you?
71
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,404
Are you drinking again?
72
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,839
Honest to God, Vern, not a drop.
73
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:51,276
Yeah. Then maybe
you should start.
74
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,736
I don't know what
to tell you except
75
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,713
clean out your desk.
76
00:06:57,217 --> 00:07:00,483
Please, please, Vern, we
got a history, you and me.
77
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,916
You want me to beg?
78
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,186
I'll beg.
79
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:13,359
I've seen you on your knees
before and it ain't a pretty picture.
80
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,133
Security!
81
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:19,905
Hey, let go of me,
you big palooka!
82
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,006
That poor kid.
83
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,270
Can't say you
didn't see it coming.
84
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,848
You're a little later
than I expected.
85
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,419
I wasn't gonna wait
much past midnight.
86
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:13,222
I took your advice and I stopped in
that cozy little bar around the corner.
87
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,328
- They remembered me.
- Why not?
88
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:19,628
They've been in mourning since
the day you climbed on the wagon.
89
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:22,828
Funny, that's what they said.
90
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,302
Can we speed this up? I
gotta get to work in the morning.
91
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:29,002
I got a great idea
for a story, Vern.
92
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,734
It's about a gal
who loses her job.
93
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:34,076
And something
inside of her snaps
94
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,480
and she finds that thing
95
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,175
that gives her back her edge.
96
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,221
Sounds a little thin.
97
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:45,486
Trust me, the
visual's going to sell it.
98
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,258
Rolanda, what are you doing?
99
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,857
I ain't begging for my job
anymore, that's for sure.
100
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,659
Look, you gotta understand
I did what I did for a reason.
101
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:57,465
Garbage! On your knees.
102
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,403
You're the one
who's going to beg.
103
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:03,534
And I've seen you on your
knees and it's not a pretty picture.
104
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,977
- Rolanda. Rolanda.
- Come on. Come on.
105
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,742
I don't hear you begging.
106
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,373
No! No! No!
107
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:43,643
Move! Move! Freeze!
108
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:47,552
No, no, no! No! No!
109
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:52,088
No!
110
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,731
Actually, I feel kind
of bad about Jerry.
111
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:36,164
He was pretty good.
112
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,032
What the hell.
113
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,432
I'll always have my memories.
114
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:54,083
I'm glad you feel that way,
Velma. I'm all choked up.
115
00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:00,390
- What, he's dead?
- No, he's dead.
116
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:04,360
- You mean he's dead.
- No, he's dead.
117
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,160
What, are you kidding me?
118
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:08,791
What's the matter,
you don't like it?
119
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:11,167
What kind of ending is that?
120
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,705
- It's a twist.
- It's a piece of shit.
121
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,299
Even the artwork sucks.
122
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,345
There is no edge
to it. It's predictable.
123
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,607
I didn't expect the guy
in the tub to still be alive.
124
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,878
He's alive? Jeez, I thought
he was a ghoul or something.
125
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:29,316
For Christ's sake, I gotta get this
issue to the printer's in two hours.
126
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:32,086
Except now I'm a
story short. Thank you!
127
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,489
Iggy, you got
anything in your files?
128
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:39,226
I got that he's-a-werewolf-she's-a-vampire-
but-neither-of-them-knows-it story.
129
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,859
Great. Hal, save me.
130
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,546
You know that
guy-that-wants-to-head-the-company-
131
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,314
so-they-cut-off-his-head
thing that I been working on?
132
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:47,034
I can have it on your
desk in a half hour.
133
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,665
Do it. Just do it.
134
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,242
It's not that bad, is it?
135
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:02,050
Rolanda, I want you
in my office. Now!
136
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,186
It's worse.
137
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:10,322
Vern, there's something
strange going on here.
138
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:14,026
How dare you walk in here and
try to pass off that garbage to me?
139
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,626
I wouldn't line a
birdcage with that story.
140
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,735
You gotta listen to me. I
had this dream last night.
141
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:24,039
I need stories. I need them
on time and I need them great.
142
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,602
I can't even remember the
last time you delivered either.
143
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:30,275
For crying out loud, you used to
be the thoroughbred in this stable.
144
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,410
Are you drinking again?
145
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:35,448
Honest to God, Vern, not a drop.
146
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:39,251
Then maybe you should start.
147
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:43,754
Before you fire me?
148
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,225
Somebody call security!
149
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,963
That poor kid.
150
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,136
Can't say you
didn't see it coming.
151
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:07,849
Oh, no.
152
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,082
You're a little later
than I expected.
153
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:43,121
I wasn't gonna wait
much past midnight.
154
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:46,648
I want to apologize for
today. I haven't been drinking.
155
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,958
But I have a great
idea for a story.
156
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,661
It's about a gal
who loses her job.
157
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,860
And something
inside of her snaps
158
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:58,894
and she finds that thing
that gives her back her edge.
159
00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:00,405
Sounds a little thin.
160
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,077
No, I really think I have
something, something good.
161
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:11,674
One step closer and I'll
blow you away, you sick bitch.
162
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,713
What are you doing?
163
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,812
You didn't come here
to beg for your job.
164
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:18,517
- You came here to kill me.
- No! No!
165
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,390
You're about as predictable
as your cockamamie stories.
166
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,625
On your knees.
167
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,393
I said get down on your
goddamn knees! Come on!
168
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:29,334
- Come on.
- What are you doing?
169
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:32,328
You think I'm gonna wait
around here for you to nail me?
170
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,569
I didn't come here to kill you.
I came here to beg for my job.
171
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:39,601
Everybody saw you attack me
today. They had to run for security.
172
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:44,583
Then tonight you came back. I
had to shoot you in self-defense.
173
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:46,175
I think it'll sell.
174
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:50,350
Vern, no!
175
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,344
Oh, shit!
176
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,524
Freeze!
177
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:31,958
No! No!
178
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:35,001
No!
179
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:27,319
- Tales from the Crypt.
- Hello, Hal?
180
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:28,386
Is Vern there?
181
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:30,082
- He went out.
- Went out?
182
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:34,225
Well, you know that guy-who-wants-
to-be-the-head-of-the-company
183
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,659
thing you've been working on?
184
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,492
You better get cracking.
185
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:40,192
Probably won't take you more
than a half an hour to finish it.
186
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:41,266
Why's that?
187
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:45,294
Because I'm not coming
in today, that's why.
188
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,764
Could you hold on just a second?
189
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,541
Vern, what are you doing here?
190
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,344
What do you think?
Where's the story?
191
00:16:57,049 --> 00:17:00,747
I was just calling to tell you...
Something came up. I don't have it.
192
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,049
You idiot!
193
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,241
I gotta have this issue to
the printer's in two hours!
194
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,919
- Except now I'm a story short!
- I fixed it.
195
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,326
I called Hal and
I told him to finish
196
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,626
that guy-who-wants-to-be-
the-head-of-the-company thing.
197
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,495
I hate that frigging story!
198
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:17,662
It's even stupider than Iggy's goddamn
he's-a-werewolf-she's-a-vampire story!
199
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,070
Oh, Christ! Are
you drinking again?
200
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:22,631
Honest to God,
Vern, no, not a drop!
201
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,368
You're fired, you
hear me? Fired!
202
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:30,180
Vern, don't do this to me.
203
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:34,216
I can't take this anymore!
204
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,622
Vern, no!
205
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,393
- Oh, my God.
- Freeze!
206
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:51,164
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
207
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,638
You cold-blooded bitch.
208
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:59,440
I didn't do it!
209
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,279
You're going home, sweetheart.
210
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,219
Poor kid.
211
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,753
Can't say you
didn't see it coming.
212
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:16,385
I know what's going on here!
213
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:20,900
You'll shoot me and I'll wake up in
a minute and it'll start all over again.
214
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,601
Ready.
215
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:25,870
Aim!
216
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,772
Fire!
217
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:38,114
What, are you kidding me?
218
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,195
What's the matter?
Don't you like it?
219
00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:42,211
What kind of ending is that?
220
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,690
- It's a twist.
- It's a piece of shit.
221
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:49,217
- Even the artwork sucks.
- I can fix it.
222
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:50,755
Don't bother!
223
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,822
And I don't appreciate
you using my likeness
224
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:54,628
in your goddamn story, either.
225
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,493
I gotta get this issue to
the printer's in two hours!
226
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,903
Rick, grab something
from your files, will you?
227
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:00,972
Yeah.
228
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:04,299
You
229
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,443
in my office.
230
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:12,979
Now!
231
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:21,052
Oh, shit.
232
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:28,229
Poor Rolanda, all she
wanted was another shot.
233
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,202
And that's exactly
what they gave her.
234
00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:34,434
Talk about character
assassination.
235
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,735
So, what do you think, kiddies?
236
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:43,772
Am I ready for
Architectural Digest or what?
237
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:49,052
It took a while, but this old
haunt is finally coming together.
238
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,414
Nice shudders over there.
239
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,116
A lovely fright
fixture over here.
240
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,525
As a matter of fact,
241
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:59,793
I've even started thinking of some
new improvements I want to make.
242
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,495
And I'm going to use
the same contractor.
243
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,629
I'm already taking bits.
244
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:44,409
English -SDH